Chapter 16 - Working

The next morning Jeremy was not late, but it was a near thing. He remembered again his promise to himself to go in early, and cursed himself for coming so close to getting in trouble just the day after being warned by Cecilia.

He yawned as he sat down at his desk with two minutes to spare. He remembered she also said something about falling asleep at his desk. He didn't think he was in bad enough shape to do that, but he hadn't gotten enough sleep, and he needed to try to manage not to let it show.

He sat for a few minutes, checking the schedule, reading his e-mail, getting settled in for the day, then went to get some coffee. He'd need lots and lots of coffee today, he decided.

Jeremy managed to make it through the day without any major displays of his lack of sleep, partly helped by the half dozen cups of coffee he gulped down before noon and the four Cokes he had in the afternoon.

Of course, he was so wired when he got home that he was up half the night writing, but he still got more sleep than he had the night before and this time remembered to set his alarm earlier before he went to bed. It was tough dragging himself out of bed that early, but he forced himself to do it, and drank a whole pot of coffee before he left for work. He wasn't quite as early as he planned, but early enough to do some writing research for himself and write a couple of letters to magazines before his day began.

The days went by in a blur. Although he griped about it a lot, and hated many things about it, the fact is that Jeremy had always actually liked most of the work he did as a librarian -- excuse me, library assistant. He didn't like the hours, and he didn't like the pay, and he didn't like the whole working-for-the-city bureaucracy aspect of it. And he certainly didn't enjoy shelving. But he did enjoy doing the research, looking up the answers to questions for people, helping them find information, the real core of what it means to be a librarian appealed to Jeremy very much, and he had often thought off and on about going back to school and getting his MLS so he could advance in the profession.

Lately, though, it had just been a job, a way to get money to pay the rent and buy food -- or, more importantly, buy paper and toner cartridges and postage. He was focused on two things: Liliana and writing, more or less in that order. Nothing else really mattered to him.

So even though he wasn't doing anything to get him into trouble, even though he wasn't coming in late or skipping work or falling asleep at his desk, even though he wasn't breaking any rules, Cecilia still called him into the conference room the second week of December and said, "Jeremy, I'm worried about you. Did you call the counseling center as I suggested?"

Jeremy shook his head. "No, I didn't." Then he added, a bit belligerently, "Are you telling me I have to now?"

She drew back, surprised and a little hurt, and Jeremy was immediately sorry. "Why, no. I wouldn't . . . I can't do that, Jeremy. You should know that. And I wouldn't if I could. I'm just worried about you, that's all."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just . . ." He shook his head. "This isn't something anybody can help me with, OK? Trust me. It just isn't."

She shook her head. "Well, I can't say that it's been affecting your work much lately, so this isn't a warning or anything and you're not in trouble." She frowned, suddenly, then added. "Well, actually, that's not quite true. I have noticed a lack of . . . something. You don't have the drive and the spark you used to have. Your answers to e-mail questions, for instance, used to be superior, even occasionally extraordinary, and these days I'd describe them as merely adequate."

Her eyes bored into his, and he knew he was supposed to feel ashamed at being described as merely "adequate."

"However, adequate is, by definition, good enough, and you aren't in trouble. That is, you're not in trouble with me, or as far as your job goes. But it seems to me you are in trouble, Jeremy. And I'm here if you want to talk about whatever it is. And really, you should try calling the counseling center. They have a pretty big staff, with experts in just about every kind of problem. Whatever it is, I'll bet there's someone there who could help you."

It took a great deal of self-control for Jeremy not to laugh in her face. He was pretty sure they didn't have an expert in fairy-human relationships on the staff. "Thanks, Cecelia," he said. "Really. I'll think about it."

She shrugged her shoulders and left, and Jeremy slunk out of the room behind her. He thought he'd been doing well, but apparently there was a difference in him that was still visible.

Well, let them see. Let them see he was no longer an eager-to-please puppy dog willing to put in 110% every day for half pay. He'd come in, do his job, and go home, and collect his check every week and that was it. Maybe he'd start publishing soon, and maybe one of these days he'd make enough money from his writing that he could quit this job.

"Excuse me?"

He looked up. It was that girl from a month ago, what was her name? The one who wanted to know about the Constitution.

"Can you help me find some information about photosynthesis?"

"Sure, Miss. Just general information about what photosynthesis is and how it works, or did you have something in particular in mind?"

"I remember you," she smiled. "Thanks a lot. I couldn't read all that stuff, of course, but the way you showed me how to find good quotes using the index helped a lot. I got a A on that paper. I've never made an A on a history paper before. In fact," she giggled. "At first the teacher thought I might have cheated, but I showed him the books and my notes and stuff and he asked me some questions and I knew the answers to them, so he gave me an A."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it. So now you're doing a paper for biology class?"

She nodded. "A presentation, actually. Three of us are supposed to do a presentation on plants. Amy's doing cell structure and the difference between plant cells and animal cells, and Tom's doing their place in the food chain, and how some animals eat plants and other animals eat animals that eat plants. And I'm doing photosynthesis. So just general stuff, I guess. What I'd really like is some visual stuff that I can use for a Power Point."

"OK," said Jeremy. "Let's see what we can find."

"I mean," she interrupted him before he could even get out from behind the desk, "it's in our textbook, so I know the basics, but I'd like both a bit more detail, maybe some nifty angle the textbook doesn't cover or something, and some really cool graphics or something. I tried looking for that on the Internet, and I found some stuff, but I figured you'd know better how to search for that stuff. I mean, not you personally, 'cause I didn't know I was gonna get you again, but you or whoever I ended up talking to. You know, a Librarian."

"Well, I always like to start with the encyclopedias," Jeremy said. They looked in three of them, World Book, Britannica and Americana. Jeremy pointed her in the direction of research about light and dark periods, knowing that she would soon find the surprising information that interrupting a plant's dark periods can be injurious to its health just as much as insufficient light. And he showed her how to use Google's advanced image search and the USDA image database and a few other places she might be able to find good diagrams or photos to beef up the visual part of her presentation.

He ended up spending considerable time with her, and she seemed appreciative. In fact, at one point she said, "I'm so glad I got you again. You were so helpful the last time, I was hoping I'd get you again."

He smiled. "Don't tell me, tell my boss."

She giggled. Was she making a pass at him?

"Well, I do have other patrons I have to help."

"Oh, sure. Of course. I mean, yeah. See you around, I guess."

He walked away, and when he got back to his desk he saw that she was still watching him. He chuckled to himself. "Well, you can turn the head of a schoolgirl, apparently," he said to himself.

The rest of the day was uneventful. When he got home, he walked to the park. No Liliana. He was really disappointed. He hadn't seen her in several days and was really hoping to see her tonight.

He was overjoyed when he got home to find her in his bed. But when he joined her, there was something different in her manner.

"What's wrong?" he asked her finally.

"You have been with another woman this day."

"What? No. Never."

"You have spent time with a human female. I can tell."

"Oh, that. It was just my job." He told her about the girl, "I don't even know her name," and his encounter with her. Mollified, she said, "Well, that is not what I had feared. I thought you were looking to replace me."

"Never," said Jeremy. "I will love you forever."