Chapter 14 - Problems at Work

"Jeremy, I'm concerned."

"Concerned?"

"About you. What's going on?"

"Nothing. Why?"

She didn't say anything for a while. It seemed almost like she was giving him time to change his answer. Finally, she sighed. "Jeremy, there's obviously something going on in your life. If you want to tell me it's none of my business, that's fine, because it's not, except that you make it my business by allowing it to affect your work. Your performance the last few weeks has not been up to your usual standards, to say the least."

Jeremy had been worried when Cecilia had come up to him and asked to speak to him, then led him away from their work area to an empty conference room. Those kinds of meetings between an employee and a supervisor rarely went well. It was worse because he knew Cecilia hated this as much as he did. She wasn't really cut out to be a boss.

He had a sudden impulse to tell her the whole story, including his crazy suspicions that Liliana was not a human being, but a creature out of faerie. Even saying it to himself it sounded so lunatic that he chuckled to himself.

That made Cecilia bristle. "You think this is funny?" she demanded.

He shook his head. "No. I'm sorry. I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing at myself for getting myself into this mess."

"What kind of mess have you gotten yourself into?"

He shook his head again. He knew better than to tell anyone he was in love with a magical creature from another world, and since he couldn't even breathe or hint at that possibility, it was hard to speak of Liliana at all, and why her coming into his life had brought him as much anxiety and anguish as it had inspiration and pleasure.
"Is it this girl you've been seeing?"

Jeremy groaned audibly. He wished he'd never mentioned Liliana to Mike.
"Jeremy, listen. I understand you don't want to talk about this with me. But you need to talk to someone." She gave him a flyer and a business card. "This is a counseling service that the city contracts to provide help for all city employees, and that includes us here in the library. They do all kinds of counseling, from drug addiction to marriage counseling to just giving you someone to talk to about stuff you have a hard time talking to your friends or coworkers about. I want you to," she bit her lip. She probably wasn't supposed to come right out and tell him to go to counseling, Jeremy figured. "I want you to think about giving them a call."

"Look, Cecilia, I know you mean well, but this is something I have to deal with myself."

She nodded. "I understand. But you're not dealing with it. And as I said, it's affecting your work. I can't just stand by and allow that to happen."

"OK, I understand, I'll do better."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, but it's gone too far for that."

Suddenly he felt ice in the pit of his stomach. Was he being fired?

"I'm going to have to put this down as an official warning in your file," she said. "If you are late, or miss a day without bringing in a note from a doctor, or I catch you falling asleep at your desk again, any of those things will mean a day's suspension without pay, do you understand?"

This dire news hit Jeremy like a cool breeze of relief. He let out the breath he didn't even know he'd been holding. "Yes. I . . . I understand. I'm sorry. I'll try not to let it happen again."

"Jeremy!"

He jumped. Cecilia had never yelled at him before. "What?"

"You can't just try. You have to stop this now. If you keep it up, I'm going to have to let you go. Do you understand?"

"Yes. I will. I promise. No more late days."

Jeremy stayed behind and sat by himself in the conference room for a while after Cecilia left. He was racking his brain trying to remember the policy on warnings. Was it six months he'd have to go without a single late day, or a whole year? It didn't matter. He'd start coming in half an hour early every morning. No, an hour -- he'd come in early and do his correspondence for his new writing career! He'd do it here, and even bring in his laptop so they couldn't complain that he was using library equipment for his personal use!

Feeling much better than he had when he went in, which he knew was completely out of touch with what had just happened, he walked out of the conference room with a spring in his step and went back to work. He left the flyer and the business card for the counseling service behind.